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Friday, January 27, 2012

Why

Exercise has not been a real part of my life since I had to stop Gymnastics when I was a young teen.  I mean I have tried a few times but it never really lasted.  I just really feel this time it will be different.  I know that anyone who has followed my journey has NO REASON to believe me that this time will be different and at times I myself have a hard time believing it will be different but I have to hold onto that!  I LOVE how I feel when I have done a good workout, when I have done something I have never done before and made actual progress! I pray I can remember that!  I have been asked, WHY the blog, Why am I putting so much on here!  Well, for a few reasons.  1) I NEED support so this is a good way for folks to know where I am in this journey and what I am doing and be my cheerleader along the way and offer tips and words of wisdom, etc.  2) I NEED to see the progress, I need to be able to remember from where I came.    "I'm not where I need to bebut thank God I'm notwhere I used to be. I'm OK, and I'm on my way!"  This is a quote from Joyce Meyer whose preaching I try to listen to everyday! This statement is so true for me in life and in my journey to a better me, to beating super morbid obesity, to learning to exercise and to really live.  To finding me inside all this weight!  This blog will help me to look back and remember that I have made progress even when it feels like I have not.  A wise woman told me to compare myself to noone, but  Tami. The Tami I was yesterday , or last week, or on day one at Fitness Lady, or before I got to Fitness lady.  She also shared not to diminish my progress.  Even a tiny bit is still progress.  If I look at myself today I can so many tiny changes that are happening and improvements that are being made!  Am I still super morbidly obese, YES, am I still the biggest person in every room I enter, YES, Am I still at major health risk, YES.  BUT I am just a tiny bit less so of all those things than I was.  3) My hope and prayer is that in some small way my journey can help someone else, now or in the future.  I  am not sure that someone who has never been hundreds of pounds overweight can really understand what it feels like to be this way, to feel trapped in your own body.  To feel like life is passing you by and you can't do anything about it.  To be the biggest person in a room, in EVERY room.  To be looked at with eyes of disgust and worse to be talked about as if you are deaf and can't hear what is being said.  So someday there may be a lady out there that is wanting to try and beat this and will need to see that someone else did it, and will want to know someone else understands where they have been.  Who will need to know that yes you can little by little trust people, the right people, who will come along and really care about you even though you are so big.  I can remember thinking noone would ever care or understand what it was like to try and exercise when you are so big and unhealthy.  And God sent me to Fitness Lady where they have been learning about helping people who are super morbidly obese.  That really want to help and not just get a fitness center membership!  I am blessed!  Anyway I am sure there are other reasons but those are the 3 biggest reasons that I can share for those who ask.  I pray folks will read and follow along and share with anyone they know that might be feeling some of the feelings I have and have had.  and please please please comment, cheer me on, offer words of wisdom, share, and be my friend in journey!



1 comment:

debbie r. said...

" I  am not sure that someone who has never been hundreds of pounds overweight can really understand what it feels like to be this way, to feel trapped in your own body.  To feel like life is passing you by and you can't do anything about it. "

I am not morbidly obese but overweight with poor body image. However, I do understand this statement you made bc I have fibromyalgia which has been really bad for the past thirteen years.

I'm proud of you and it is important not to despise the days of small successes because every grain of sand when taken together can bury the pyramids and entire cities.
( yes, we are studying Egypt right now :)