Weigh In Update #2

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Loss for the week: -5.8 lbs
Starting weight: 345 lbs
Current weight: 336.4 lbs
Total loss to date: 8.6  lbs

Total Percentage Lost: trying to figure out how to figure that out!

So there you have my Sunday January 8, 2012 weigh in!  Not too bad, thank God for loss.  It is overwhelming to think I still have SOO far to go with just that little lost, BUT it is 5 pounds off my heart and joints and body and that is huge! :)  Yesterday at Church the Lord spoke so loudly to me during worship.  One song in particular really just screamed at me.  The words below :

Its time for you and I to stand
To march into our promise land
To walk in faith and not by what I see

His favor is upon us now
We're clothed in righteousness and power
Its time for us to shout the victory

For me in my journey to me right now with weight, and with some personal stuff this really huge! Time to walk by faith and not by what I see. My earthly eyes can't see me at 145 lbs, but with God I can do this and I can walk in faith to get there. It is time to shout the victory! Time to shout that I WANT to live, time to shout that GOD is the way I am gonna do this, time to shout I have Victory in the weight and the other stuff because of who GOD IS :) Here is the song! I just keep singing in over and over and over! This is one I HAVE to own at some point :)

On top of that wonderful song and feeling so like this journey is my earthly march into my promised land, so much was going on in my heart and mind during worship.  God is showing me and more and more parts of my life that are handicapped by me being Super Morbidly Obese.  He has led me to make a list of things of goals, not just weight goals, but goals of things I want to be able to do that right now I can't.  I was so emotional Sunday Morning as it hit me that this even affects my relationship with the Lord.  If you viewed the song above, (and if you didn't please do, its fun!) it is very very upbeat and such an awesome worship song.  We are singing it that morning and I am soo into worshipping God and all I want to do it start jumping!  WHAM!  it hits me, IF YOU WERE NOT SO HUGE YOU COULD JUMP for the Lord!  I tried but I am just not able to jump unless in the pool.  That goes on the goal list.  I want to be able to jump in worship.  I want to be able to worship in whatever way that the Spirit moves me and not be hampered by my weight.  Also another thing that happend was I tried SOOOOOO hard to stand all the way through worship, and I did last MUCH longer than I normally do, and when I normally would have sat I kept praying and telling myself to push myself and stand a bit longer and even told myself you burn more calories standing than sitting.  Then I felt guilty for looking at standing in worship as a calorie burn.  Anyway, another goal is I want to be able to stand all the way through worship period and then I want to be able to stand all the way through without having to think about it or it be hard!  Anyway, those were just a couple of things that came to me that need to be goals in addition to the scale goals.  I am going to be working on a way to put the goals up on the blog and something to track the weigh ins and such.  I think it is important for me to have it all up here for myself and those cheering me on to see how I am doing and as my catterpillar self begins to transform into that butterfly I want to be able to look back and see what all God has done and remember every step of the journey.  Please comment and let me know yall are following along.  I NEED all the Cheerleaders I can get!  Thanks for letting me share a bit.  I think that being able to open up and share about things is going to be important for me to release this weight and maybe some of the things inside that got me here.  I am looking so forward to a class at Church coming up that will work on the inside at the same time.  I am beginning to wonder if some of the pain and feelings inside have something to do with all this.