Weigh In # 5 Dec 29th-January 29th Progress

Today is my Weekly weigh in day! and my first monthly Measurements day! 

Loss for the week: -2.2 lbs
Starting weight: 345 lbs
Current weight: 329.4 lbs
Total loss to date: 15.6  lbs

Total Percentage Lost: 4.5%

BMI: 53.2

Pounds left to loose: 184.4

I am excited that I have lost 15. 6 bls total! :)  That is exciting to me.  Getting closer to beating the amount I have ever lost before but even though not there yet I know I am doing it much better than ever before! And I am trying so hard to believe this time it is gone FOREVER!

I have added another new page to the blog! If you look above the ticker a

d below

 the blog description you will see links to HOME,  Tamijoy's exercise, and Tamijoy's measurements.  I have put the starting and today's measurements on that page. HERE.  I am putting a copy of it here for you to see today!

Date	Arms	Hips	Bust	Waist	Thighs	Dress
12/29/11	21 inches	67 inches	60 inches	56 inches	30 inches	30W
1/29/12	20 inches	64 inches	56 inches	54 inches	29 inches	28W
2/29/12
3/29/12
4/29/12
5/29/12
6/29/12
7/29/12
8/29/12
9/29/12
10/29/12
11/29/12
12/29/12
Totals	-1 inch	-3 inches	-4 inches	-2 inches	-1  inch	1 down

I was actually kinda shocked by some of the numbers and had Bobby help me measure a second and third time.  I did not expect so much in bust hips and waist and thought I would have way more in the arms and legs.  Just shows what I DONT know about things!  

I am needing this reminder in alot of areas today!  Thanks for following along guys!!!!  I need all the help 

I can get!

Why

Exercise has not been a real part of my life since I had to stop Gymnastics when I was a young teen.  I mean I have tried a few times but it never really lasted.  I just really feel this time it will be different.  I know that anyone who has followed my journey has NO REASON to believe me that this time will be different and at times I myself have a hard time believing it will be different but I have to hold onto that!  I LOVE how I feel when I have done a good workout, when I have done something I have never done before and made actual progress! I pray I can remember that!  I have been asked, WHY the blog, Why am I putting so much on here!  Well, for a few reasons.  1) I NEED support so this is a good way for folks to know where I am in this journey and what I am doing and be my cheerleader along the way and offer tips and words of wisdom, etc.  2) I NEED to see the progress, I need to be able to remember from where I came.    "I'm not where I need to be, but thank God I'm notwhere I used to be. I'm OK, and I'm on my way!"  This is a quote from Joyce Meyer whose preaching I try to listen to everyday! This statement is so true for me in life and in my journey to a better me, to beating super morbid obesity, to learning to exercise and to really live.  To finding me inside all this weight!  This blog will help me to look back and remember that I have made progress even when it feels like I have not.  A wise woman told me to compare myself to noone, but  Tami. The Tami I was yesterday , or last week, or on day one at Fitness Lady, or before I got to Fitness lady.  She also shared not to diminish my progress.  Even a tiny bit is still progress.  If I look at myself today I can so many tiny changes that are happening and improvements that are being made!  Am I still super morbidly obese, YES, am I still the biggest person in every room I enter, YES, Am I still at major health risk, YES.  BUT I am just a tiny bit less so of all those things than I was.  3) My hope and prayer is that in some small way my journey can help someone else, now or in the future.  I  am not sure that someone who has never been hundreds of pounds overweight can really understand what it feels like to be this way, to feel trapped in your own body.  To feel like life is passing you by and you can't do anything about it.  To be the biggest person in a room, in EVERY room.  To be looked at with eyes of disgust and worse to be talked about as if you are deaf and can't hear what is being said.  So someday there may be a lady out there that is wanting to try and beat this and will need to see that someone else did it, and will want to know someone else understands where they have been.  Who will need to know that yes you can little by little trust people, the right people, who will come along and really care about you even though you are so big.  I can remember thinking noone would ever care or understand what it was like to try and exercise when you are so big and unhealthy.  And God sent me to Fitness Lady where they have been learning about helping people who are super morbidly obese.  That really want to help and not just get a fitness center membership!  I am blessed!  Anyway I am sure there are other reasons but those are the 3 biggest reasons that I can share for those who ask.  I pray folks will read and follow along and share with anyone they know that might be feeling some of the feelings I have and have had.  and please please please comment, cheer me on, offer words of wisdom, share, and be my friend in journey!

Keeping it real! my hardest day at Fitness Lady yet, emotionally

So thought I would share for anyone following this journey.  I promised I would make it real so I need to share even the negative bad feelings.  I am committing to stay positive as Bri  asked me to so I hope by writing out my feelings here about this that I will be able to lay them down and get back to positive.  I am sure in part today's feeling stem from very little sleep last night and havin to be up so early to take both babies for testing at hospital. Anyway, I headed to Fitness Lady and it was so good to get to be going again, did not get to friday, saturday or sunday cuz of scheduling and it was so upsetting to me to miss out.  I am hoping to work that out this week to go FRI and Sat.  Anyway back to today, I went to the gym and started out with a warm up on the Elliptical waiting for the trainer to have time for my last weight training session.  I am in a line of ellipticals and totaly surrounded by thin, beautiful fit women! I can see me and them in the mirror and I am fighting back tears.  For some reason it was just so hard and I felt so helpless.  The positive thing I can find in this is that rather than just get down and leave and give up, I stayed.  The trainer came up when I was at 6 and half minutes and said go to 7 and then she was ready for me.  So did the 7 minutes and then my upper and lower body weights training.  We added either 5 lbs or 5 reps to each exercise today.  I need to learn what they are all called.  I am thinking I can ask for someone to write it down for me so I can keep up with it better on the exercise page I plan to make.  Anyway got that session done with the trainer and then went back to do my cardio.  Back on the elliptical with all the beautiful healthy ladies.  It was a battle back and forth with my mind that this is impossible and I can never really do this and I do not belong here.  At one point I even thought someone beside me was looking at me strange.  More than likely they weren't or maybe if they were it was my slip on sandles I am working out in.  Maybe it was paranoia.  Anyway Bri was teaching a kick boxing class and I was remembering her telling me to work on being more positive so I am watching the class and trying to tell myself if I keep this up that someday I can do that class.  I am remembering Bri saying in 6 weeks I can do terminator tone up class.  Back to arguing with myself that I will never be able to do that.  All this while I am on the elliptical on level one working out.  I am trying to make myself listen to what Brianna is teaching and not think about me or how I feel like I am gonna die and am I doing this for nothing for it never to work.  Anyway I did not cry but made it through 20 minutes on elliptical.  and then headed to rotary bike and did 15 there on level 4.  It is like a battle in my mind.  I KNOW that I need to exercise for health and I know I am the biggest person at Fitness Lady and I look crazy doing all this but I know I want to live.  I just am mad  at myself for this emotional internal battle in my mind.  Anyway I need to keep it real ans share.

I also learned a lesson today.  Between exhaustion and lack of stuff here for lunch I spent an hour trying to pick what I could have delivered that was not too bad.  pretty much I had 3 pizza places to choose between. Kept trying to figure it out and then finally just gave into Pizza hut's special on Monday for $4 p'zone.  My mom and nurse were also ordering and so got everybody's stuff ordered and then had to track it.  Now for breakfast we were at the hospital and I ate so much better than I normally eat.  Got all that tracked and tried to guess up with how the food was prepared as hospital cafeteria who knows how they cooked it.  So when you added the P'zone and my breakfast together that left me with only 3 points for supper.  So I had to get creative.  Celeste was making hamburger helper for me since I did the gym so I knew that was out.  Going and looking around online I figured out dill pickels are free food so I had some of those and then 3/4 cup of great norther beans that was 3 points.  I should have eaten half the p'zone if I was gonna eat it at all and not had to have barely any supper and now I know that,  I really wish we had some place to deliver that had something a bit healthier and I am gonna have to just really stop getting stuff.  How do thin people eat at Pizza hut and places like that.  Everything is so calorie filled.  Anyway, I am off to drool over but trying not to covet workout clothes!  LOL  I have been noticing the things folks at Fitness Lady wear!  Workout clothes and some in Fitness Lady tshirts and work out pants and such.  I can't wait to get some Fitness Lady tshirts and workout clothes but everything in good time.

thanks for listening guys!

Weekly Weigh In Update #4

Loss for the week: -2.8 lbs
Starting weight: 345 lbs
Current weight: 331.6 lbs
Total loss to date: 13.4  lbs

Total Percentage Lost: 3.8 %

BMI: 53.5

Pounds left to loose: 186.6

13.4 lbs GONE forever In Jesus Name!  Not too bad since Dec 29th 2011.  That is 3 weeks and 3 days.  Weight watchers says my average weight loss has been 3.3 lbs a week.  I was happy to see a loss this week because I had a really bad eating day and had to use all but 9 weekly points this week. And I am also having a few bad days of pain and today I have fever and a sore throat.  I THINK it is my body telling me that with all of this I need to get rest in too.  Sleep has always been an issue with the Fibromyalgia and kids but I had been doing much better with sleep the first couple weeks but last week was really bad.  Hoping if I have a down day today and just light housework that has to be done that this fever and sore throat will leave by tomorow.  I am learning that Friday through Sunday are m hardest times to eat well and definitly to fit in exercise.  Need to think and pray about those days and what to do better.  Wednesday Night is proving difficult as well because I seem hungrier for some reason that night, so I am going to alter even more my breakfast and lunch on Wednesday so that will help my eating at Church supper to be less stressful and not end up using weekly points other than for dessert.  I have allowed myself dessert on Wednesdays because it is a treat to have it cooked by someone else, I am going to try to make sure it fits in my daily points though.  And I only eat it, or anthing for that matter, if I really like it.  I dont waste those points for something I dont care for! LOL 

I made a few goals this week.  If you havent seen it on the side of the blog I have a goal list of weight goals and non weight goals.  I will add to it as I think of more.  I had a goal for 10 minutes and 15 minutes on elliptical and I made both those goals in the same day!  Kedgy (the owner of fitness lady) was visitng with me during my second cardio training and she was like go at least 5 minutes and then went to do some things and I  just kept going and praying and singing in  head and when she came back I was at like 7 and a half and she was like TRY to go to 10.  and she talked with me the whole time and I got to 10 and she said keep going.  I got all the way to 15!  She cheered and bragged on me to Bri and the others around and that was so neat for someeone to have something to brag on ME of all people, especially fitness related! LOL  Anyway, 2 days later I beat the 15 minutes by getting to 16 minutes! LOL  I know that is not alot but its improvement!  Brianna shared with me to compare myself to noone but myself.  So if I can do better in any area than I did before then that is improvement.  The treat of a trip to Subway by my daughter helped me to see an improvement from myself before.  I used to eat as a standard if I got to go there a toasted footlong steak and cheese on italian herb and cheddar with bacn, pickels, sour cream, salt and pepper.  This time I went down to a toasted 6 inch with no bacon, no sour cream and by accident go the 9 grain honey oat bread.  It was a huge improvement for me even if not as well as some others might have done.  Baby steps to win the race.  Little by little I see my caterpillar self coming out of my cacoon.  Our Thursday Night Water aerobics class I thought she was gonna kill us but I survived.  She shook things up a bit and did totally differently and we swam laps doing different strokes up and down the pool and lost of kicking in different ways to use different muscles.  It was great and I learned the side stroke and how NOT to swallow the pool or drown when there are tons of waves caused by so many women trying to swim like the sharks were after us as she told us to do!   Also in 2 of my classes this week we did a bit of kickboxing in the pool!  Now I could NEVER do that on the floor but I did do it in the pool.  Also learning a bit how to actually punch.  Not sure I am good enough at it to actually protect myself but kinda neat to think I kinda know how to punch now.  I also was blessed to attend a Fitness class break out session with Brianna this week.  I am learning so much at Fitness Lady!! Not just to exercise but so many things to help me and my family have a better, healthier funnier, and fitter life!  If you want to see a bit of what we learned go to Brianna's fitness website HERE!  She has tons of good stuff on there to help you out and that is just interesting! Also check out my fitness center at the link above or HERE! It is one of the best things God has brought into my life! :)  And to show how much the Lord cares about us getting healthy I wanted to share that through much prayer and discussion my husband Bobby and I decided that even though financially this is one of the worse times ever for us and the worse time in the world for me to be asking to spend money on a fitness center membership and weight watchers that it was also a HUGE need for me and a huge priority and that no matter what we had to do it.  I get a small disability check each month and we have been using that to live on as well as his income.  We decided since that check is suppose to be to help with things needed for me and my health that Fitness Lady and weigh watchers would come out of it every month first thing no matter what.  We will just have to adjust.  We decided to do just ww online for now because of the financial cost so there would still be room for the gym because we felt both were necessary for me to be able to actually do this and win this fight for life and against super morid obesity.  So we made that decision right before I joined Fitness Lady on January 3rd.  So about a week or so later some money arrived in my account from disability.  I was totally confused as they had already sent me January's payment and I thought what on earth.  I decided to just hold off and see if they contacted me and if not I would try to figure out how to contact them and see what was up with this extra money.  So yesterday I get a letter in the mail from them explaining that I will now be getting about $48 a month more every month on my disability payment.  I was like GOD IS SO INCREDIBLE!!!!  He is basically helping me pay for the Fitness Center membership! :)  I of course if you know me, burst into tears!  I get so overwhelmed when I see the definite hand of God in my life and know He is saying  here you go Child, you are on the right track!  I can't believe it but then again I can! :)  Now the prayerful decision to make is whether the Lord did this so that we have back what we have been living on, OR are we suppose to take another step out and go up in my Weight Watchers Membership and get the monthly pass instead of the online only.  I will be researching things a bit this week to see if I can still use the online system I use now if I go to the meetings as well.  I sure cant afford to pay for both and doing the tracking online is really working for me so I dont want to give that up.  I will try and find out what the meetings are like and the benefit they have to me as we pray and seek God's face on if that is a decision to make now or to leave it just online and Fitness Lady for now.  Things are so financailly hard for us so I need to be wise in all this and do what we feel the Lord leading us to do , just as we did when the decision was made to do all this.  It is so hard for me to think about taking money away from my family for something that is just for me, but I just keep telling myself if you don't do this you are going to die. Anyway , just thought yall might like to hear about how the Lord blessed after we stepped out! :) 

I really liked this.  Butteflies are my theme because the Lord is transforming me from a caterpillar to a butterfly and I think they are so pretty and signify new life and the Lord is giving me a new earthly life and helping me to learn to live just as He gave me eternal life by dying on the cross for me!  I am always looking out for butterflies and insirational sayings on them!  Someday I want to get more butterflies to put around my house!  I have a few in my bathroom to remind me each day! 

So do me a favor guys and do ONE thing this week that is for your good health!  One change, one thing to become a healthier and better you!  AND in addition to that please leave me comments on what you did or will do, and any comments you have with tips for me!  PLEASE do not be offended if I do not follow your tip, or if I dont come on here and share about it, but I will read them all and take it all in as I am trying to make more and more steps towards a better me!