Challenge is over

So the 5 day Clean Eating Challenge ended yesterday and today was weigh in day!  I am beyond floored that my weight loss was so big considering I did not do everything right according to the plan any day the entire 5 days.  But I am down to 336.4  That is 13. 6 lbs.  HUGE.  I was afraid the challenge leader would think I was making it up it is so huge.  I also feel like I have gained sooooo much knowledge and many ideas.  I have to get so much better and finding $ deals in the store so I can eat better and better.  I also need to keep trying to move.  I am still in severe pain but something feels different.

This picture shows 10 lbs of fat.  I am not sure if I actually lost that much fat, some of this 13 lbs is water but still kinda neat to see what 10 lbs looks like of unhealthy weight.

For those who asked: Clean Eating is just trying to eat foods that are closest to the original source as possible meaning less processed. More eating fresh food not boxed. Fruit, Vegetables, Poultry, Fish, lean red meat if any.  Food with no ingredient list are best.  Apple has no ingredient list but fruit snacks do for instance. And trying to stay away from things with NO nutritional value at all.

This was a picture I took Day 1  Shopping and then a picture of my lunch!  1/2 can of tuna in water mixed with hummas and a whole grain tortilla and some pickles.  Much healthier than .15 cent ramen noodles. 

I have learned so much through this challenge and really loved the fb group of folks doing it along with me and how wonderul it was to see what others were eating and doing and having the encouragement of Cindy from Well trained Mama each day!  I am in tears it is over and wish that she would do another one but for 10 days this time!  

I love how God speaks right to us where we are in ways we might not think.  One of the first things I see on FB this morning as I get on to relax a minute on this saturday morning is a devotional link to one of the proverbs 31 ministries authors.  The picture with the length got me!

Boy that screamed out at me.  I feel so broken in so many ways between weight, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and other health stuff, my own battle with feeling I let God and family down every day etc.  So I so needed to see this today.  I wanted to share some with you and how it fit for me today.

The setting is of a woman caught in sin and the leaders and people are outraged by her sin. Sometimes I feel that others are outraged at me by my weight, sometimes the things they say, the looks they give, the degrading remarks, the condsending remarks etc feel like this is how they see me.  And no matter the total reasons behind my weight gain and weigh loss struggle it is something that defines how people see and view me just as in this woman's case.
“All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” John 8:7b (NLT) - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/you-are-not-a-throwaway-person/#sthash.60BB90Pz.dpuf
Jesus is telling them if you have never done anything wrong in any way then go ahead and stone her condem her.  How many of these could have secretly had the same sin but not been caught?  How many folks that make jokes about obese people binge eat or drink at times, or do something similar or even totally different.  NONE of us is perfect.  NO I am not making an excuse.  I know there were some major contributing factors to me being like I am and those who look on me do not know that but does it really matter?  You never know what someone is really like no matter what your view of them says.

“Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, ‘Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?’ ‘No, Lord,’ she said. And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I. Go and sin no more.’” John 8:10-11 (NLT) - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/you-are-not-a-throwaway-person/#sthash.60BB90Pz.dpuf

This is so huge!  Jesus does not condemn her!  HE LOVES HER!! He sees more, more than see sees!  Read on...
But Jesus saw more when He looked at that woman. He looked past her sin and shame and saw her value — a value she most likely didn’t even see in herself. - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/you-are-not-a-throwaway-person/#sthash.60BB90Pz.dpuf
THIS JUMPED OFF THE PAGE AT ME!  My newest prayer lately since something that was said in Church recently is to see ME as Jesus sees ME.  If I can learn to love ME like HE does then maybe I can start to really change the feelings deep inside.  Is that weight loss, NO, but it is better health and that is part of my journey!  Being a healthier better me!!! and then the devotion goes on to jump at me again...

But Jesus knew her worth. Her value. He knew the purposes for which He’d created her. And He wanted her to know that, too.

None of us is a throwaway person, because no one is ever beyond repair in God’s eyes. He is the ultimate restorer of people, hearts and lives. Restoration brings transformation, and the faith to believe our lives truly do matter to God.

Lord, thank You for loving me, despite me. Help me see the value You see in me and to trust You have an amazing plan for my future. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

The above was their prayer written in the devotion but I am so praying it too for my life!

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Ephesians 1:7, “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.” (ESV)

- See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/you-are-not-a-throwaway-person/#sthash.60BB90Pz.dpuf

This picture was on fb this week and I saved it!!  I wish I was talented enough to take it and put MY picture it in rather than this girl!  My reminder that even when I have given up on myself and feel everyone else has given up on me and feel so alone in the world Father God is always there!!!  

So where do I go from here?  I am not positive but I know this I have gotten my try back!  I am praying the Lord will show me the support and encouragement and the way for the next day, the next week, the next month etc.  I began this challenge with a new top weight higher than when I have started every other time.  I pray with all that is in me that I never have a top weigh higher.  I can literally remember being just below 225 and saying I will never go above 225 and thinking I was the fatest person on earth.  350 is insane as is 336.4 so I pray beyond pray that little by little I can do this.  I am even hoping the dr ordered PT for my arm to strengthen it will somehow help in this journey for the weight loss and health!  The BIGGEST challenge I will have is keeping on keeping on, even when it feels impossible, even when the worse news comes, even when someone I love is taken, even when reality of my babies prognosis is thrown in my face again, even when I can barely afford groceries and have to eat whatever I can, even when I hurt so much I can't get out of bed.  I have to keep on keepin on try to do something right towards my good health.