We have a plan...

So I wanted to come and update everyone on things with my journey! I saw the cardiologist as part of my process for the weight loss study and I was very gad to get a chance to see the dr and find out how my heart is fairing under all this weight.  My grandfather had his first heart attach very early 40's and died at 50, and my father had serious heart problems as well and died at 61 during quadruple bypass surgery. My grandmother (dad's mom) had severe cholestrerol issues genetically though was never unhealthy weight wise.  Anyway I have known family history is not good and none of them were large.  So I had a long talk with the dr who was very wonderful and he ran an echocardiagram as his first step to determine if he would clear me for the surgery and to continue in the study.  The biggest things to look at are the actual risk to me and my heart from the actual surgery as well as the risk of the "extreme dieting" that is involved after the surgery.  Anyway he shared his thoughts based on family history and his exam and ekg they did before he came in and all and said he would like me to have the echocardiagram that day.  So we did it and I left.

That afternoon he called and shared the results of the echocardiagram.  I do not fully understand it all but short story is that I have enlargement of the heart and some other things going on.  Years back someone had thought there might be a problem, but then later another dr said there was not.  The way things look now it appears there was a problem.  More testing will be coming soon.  

So, after much discussion and prayer between Bobby and I and the Cardiologist and taking into account the cardiologist report and the screenings that were done by the study personnel it has been determined that for me personally the surgery is not a safe option for my journey.  I am out of the study.  This does NOT mean that my need to loose serious amount of weight is gone, because it is not.  It does NOT mean I have given up.  It does mean the jump start of the surgery is not going to happen for me.  Bobby and I are at peace with things as they are and this entire process has really been good to help me learn alot of things, and to help us as a family make some decisions that needed to be made whether I had surgery or not to help me and our family become healthier.  

I like the above butterfly picture because it kinda speaks of where I have been for the past 2 weeks at least. I felt very alone recently and during the liquid diet portion of the study.  Part of that was because some folks were gone the majority of the time, part was because I was having to do things so differently than the rest of the family and part of it was just because.  I do think that was a good thing in some ways.  It is good for me to be in that place to a certain extetent and learn to share my needs toward the end of it and to realize that sometimes mama has needs and is gonna have to learn to make sure I am proactive of getting them met.  

Anyway on the the title of this post....We have a plan..  I am of course still committed, more than ever committed to loosing this 200 lbs.  Bobby is committed to helping me with the boys so I can get to the gym again on a more regular basis!  He is also commited to eating healthier and helping model better and healthier lifetsyle to our kids!  He is on board for us having a more active life long term too.  I will also be joining TOPS at my gym Fitness Lady. I am blessed they have a chapter at the gym and I hope having that with ladies that I am in water class with will be a great support for me during this journey long term.  If you do not know what tops is it is basicaly education meetings and weigh ins and a group supporting each other I am told.  I have not actually been yet.  I was out of town this week and I hope to be able to start next week.  I am still waiting on Noah's ball practice schedule to know for sure if I can start now or if I have to wait till after tball season for the actual meetings.  I will be meeting with my internist and the cardiologist to help me in this journey of loosing this weight and getting healthy for good!  

Thank you for those who have been such a huge emotional and prayers support as we explored this option for me through the study.  I can always use all the support and prayers I can get.  Loosing 50 lbs is a big deal and can take time so for me 200 seems HUGE and I am gonna need to constantly remind myself of why I am doing this and keep the motivation and energy up.  Also, please be in prayer for my thyroid and my fibromyalgia issues.  I will be talking to the internist about these as the tyroid is still not where it is is suppose to be so I guess some medication adjustments need to be made.  

thanks guys and I hope to have weight loss update to you soon.  I will weigh in monday morning and if I get to start tops I will weigh in there and use that as my official weigh ins :)