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Monday, February 25, 2013

What I am learning

So I am just about complete with day 4 of this 14 day liquid diet!  I must say in ways this is a big challenge!  I have a list of no calorie things I can use to improve the shakes and I can make them whatever consistency I want.  Praising God for internet for some ideas and I have jumped out on a limp and made them worse and some better.  Anyway thought I would post a little update on things and share what I am learning during this time...

1. I am learning that hunger is not really a big issue for me.  I have to describe my hunger every time I document what I drink I have to put my mood and my hunger level and they describe the level.  I fear they will not believe me because I really have not been hungry.  NOW that does not mean I don't WANT food!!!   but physically hungry I am not really.  It is weird.  I think today is the first time I can say I really was hungry by the definitions on the chart.  my stomach is growling alot today too which I have had that happen before of course but today is the first day since I started this that it is growling.  

2.  I am learning that I dont understand moods!  that seems hard to me to pick a mood.  they give me some examples.  more often than not I am putting neutral because not sure how to put anything else.  I have been more crabby and emotional lately but those are not really on there! LOL

3.  I am realizing that when you have so little to choose form as far as flavors and varieties you realize how much you miss things.  And NOT junk so much!  Well some but just alot of normal things that are not really bad.  like Milk!  

4.  I am learning that I like more veggies than I think I do!  Because seein them on a plate or tv or commercial, internet whatever my mouth is watering and I am wishing I could have them!

5.  I am learning that I can do more than I think I can THROUGH GOD!  I have had some pretty hard things to get through and NOT give in during.  I had to cook Chinese New Year for the family and watch them all eat it while drinking broth and shakes.  and we were at an event with my favorite bbq catered and could not have a bite.  Emotionally I have battled odd feelings through it all and it overwhelms me I still have 10 days to go!

6.  I am learning that I have some very passionate and vocal people in my life for both sides of this.  

7.  I am learning that alot of people spend ALOT of time thinking about , talking about , and eating food!  I even had someone very close to me say how they really do not want me to do this because they live to eat and can't stand the thought of me not being able to eat barely any food after this!  That was interesting statement to me.  I will say I have had the thoughts and upsets about having to only have so few calories a day for the rest of my life (750 according to the paper I was given)  and  only being able to eat bites at a time.  It seems in my head that there should be a way to do this with a happy medium rather than extremes but in all these years I have not.  So then I get the worry what if even this does not work.  Anyway., as I am dealing and praying through so much hearing so much about food all the time at a time when I can't have ANY of it at all is really strange.

8.  I am learning that I have to be able to do this on my own even if I have no support.  Everyone has their own lives, even in my own family, they have there own things to think about and be concerned about and I can't expect to have their support in this.  I am praying to have some but whether I do or not I have to be able to do this.  I love my family and they are great so do not take this as I am complaining or they are not awesome because they are but this is my problem and its easy for them to go off about there day and forget. 

9.  I am learning that I know nothing about extracts and spices but I need to learn!  LOL  Cinnamon and Almond extract both seem to be strong and help mask yuck of the shakes! LOL  

10.  I am learning that I have to trust God even when its scary, even when my earthly eyes can not see what I need to see.  I was soo good at this with the boys and the adoptions and even with Jeremiah in life threatening times with him but when it comes to me personally I am struggling much more!  I am learning I do NOT see myself the way God sees me.  I know that I see others as God does and I know in my head how He feels about His children but I am not able to see that in me.  

so I am sure I could go on but just a bit of an update for those who are asking "How ya really doing?"  this is just a bit for you :)

1 comment:

Sarah Maples said...

One thing I learned was how much this world revolves around food!! You're noticing now though cuz you're restricted but it'll get better. Also after a year or so you'll be able to eat a little more. 750 cal/day for life will do a lot of damage. 1500 is more reasonable and will not cause weight gain. Depending on the surgery you'll only absorb about 80% of what you consume(bypass I know for sure). Do not despair or think it'll be gloom and doom. You'll be able to eat reg portions(what the serving suggestion is and what we should be eating anyway) after you heal etc...Social events will be hard and probably the hardest for me to get used to but it gets better. I will say my first grocery run post surgery(still on puréed food), I was literally drooling and had to fight tears just looking at raw veggies. Was not a fan b4 but I would have given my right arm for some at that moment lol. I hope my posts are helpful and encouraging despite being honest and sharing my own experiences. I actually was crying as I asked the nurse, as I was leaving the hospital, if it was too late? It was a horrible realization but knowing where I was about a year later and knowing I could actually still eat, I'd do it all over in a heartbeat!! All I wanted was a grilled cheese sandwich which is funny as I don't really care for them that much. My tastes changed from wanting craving salty fatty fried foods to wanting craving swets! They're both bad but I'm glad I prefer sweets as I can only eat a little or I get sick to my stomach which is what prevents me from going overboard ;-)