So here I am again.. another new year, another time to reflect on myself and this journey to a better me. Another year of not liking what I see. Part of me really wants to give up, and has really battled with the thought that this truly is impossible. Just maybe I have done so much damage to my body and so far into Super Morbid Obesity that just maybe there is no coming back. This past Wednesday our Pastor preached a message on We Live On! Boy it really amazes me how many times I sit under a message and feel like it is the Lord sending a personal message just to me. I really felt like I was being told DO NOT GIVE UP. Failure is only if you give up. I know IF anyone is reading this you have probably all given up on me ever really getting healthy, ever really loosing the weight, ever really being all that the Lord has called me to be. But I think HE made it pretty clear to me recently though the message at Church and a few people He has placed in my path that HE has not given up on me. I know one thing in all this I need more and more of HIM and less and less of ME and the world. I cling to HIM to get me through this and I have to find a way to stay motivated and with my eyes on HIM and not the journey ahead or the failures behind. I need to be healthier in every area of my life! Spiritual, physical, weight, you name it. I look at this blog and I think back to 2009 when I started the blog to officially begin this journey to health and loose weight. I am bigger now than then and less physically able. I am battling health issues that contributed to getting me here that have increased. I think if you look back over this blog and then look at me now in a picture or in my life rolling around my kitchen and dining room cooking, sweeping, doing what I can in a rolling chair, you would say not only did she fail, she regressed. All of that is correct and it is what it is. What makes me keep wanting to try again? I want to live, to really live. and YES I have said that before and nothing changed, so what is different now, I have no clue. But I do know one thing. I have to Live on. I have to try AGAIN. There is power in my again. Again is the name of the series of messages our Pastors are preaching right now. Very timely for me I do believe.
So IF you are reading, first of all, Thank you!! And Secondly I NEED PRAYER and I NEED SUPPORT. YES AGAIN! Our Church will be doing a 21 day Fasting period beginning tomorrow. Each person is to fast the things that really mean something to them that they feel they are led to fast. THIS will be super hard for me and I go into it afraid I can't do it. But I also go into it knowing if I do that to God be all the Glory! I need super prayer going forward for the next 21 days, for the following days, weeks, months and years as this weight loss will take years. I keep telling myself that if I can loose more than 30 and then just keep doing that over and over but for some reason I have not been able to before. But AGAIN I try. Here are my goals for 2017 and for January :) Included in January goals I share my things I am fasting and I need extra prayer for those. If you are praying and supporting PLEASE let me know :)
TamiJoy Goals
Long Term:
Loose 225 Lbs (235 from highest weight) to reach goal weight of 125
Loose multiple clothes sizes
Be more active and be able to really play and go places with my kids
Go on tours, Go to Disney, Go Camping~ GO!
January 2017 Goals:
Fast Dr. Pepper for 21 Day Church Fast at least
Fast going through for fast food for 21 Day Church Fast at least no matter how healthy the choices.
Walk at least 1000 steps every day using my Fitbit {look me up if you want to be friends :) }
Loose 8-10 lbs before January 31st
Start and attend Physical Therapy with the Fibromyalgia/CFS/Arthritis PT the Reumo is sending me to see
That sums it up for now. I am sure everyone is as tired of hearing me say I am working on doing this and then not as I am so I do understand if you are in disbelief this time will be any different.
I leave you with a picture of my family at my daughter's Wedding last February. I am so blessed she has married the man of her dreams and is happy. I want to be around a very long time to spend as much time as I can with these people and with some very dear friends and Church family! I cling to the fact GOD IS ABLE!
1 comment:
How are you feeling?
Kristina
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