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I wanted to share this from the first chapter of unglued with you all because it spoke so loudly to me this morning:
" Imperfect Changes are slow steps of progress wrapped in grace....imperfect progress. "
also:
"Progress. Just make progress. It's okay to have setbacks and the need for do-overs. It's okay to draw a line in the sand and start over again-and again. Just make sure you are moving the line forward. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good."
HOW perfect was that for me!!!! It had a connection to an important event in my past! ONLY GOD would know that! Lysa Trrkeurst who is the auther of Unglued and penned those words to herself had NO CLUE God would use those words so loudly for me and I am sure others as well! So many areas of my life have been covered by that quote above. As for the weight loss journey I guess I am saying I am drawing a line in the sand a little further ahead that it was back in December. 25 lbs closer to the 200 lbs weigh loss goal, a little smarter, a little more educated, and definitly knowing more that the weight loss journey can't be separate from me, from the journey of life for me period. I have to work on ALL of me for any of me to change and become the better me I long for! If you have been following along you know the butterfly has become a symbol for me for this journey! I am not the beautiful butterfly yet, but I am emerging and transforming and on the journey to that butterfly! All of this, the steps back even, the changes, the pain, everything is a part of it to bring upon the transformation! I pray that this is making sense and that somehow , someway, some day this can help someone else too.
The Journey to a better me is happening from the inside out! This Unglued Study is showing me how being a woman who is UNGLUED so much affects every aspect of my life and who I am as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend and a child of God! I read and reread this chapter because I so felt it was God speaking directly through Lysa to me! Then I read chapter 2!
I'm not a freak out woman! That is the title! for ME lately especially it should be I AM a Freak Out Woman! To many times I am out of control and I get so angry with myself! So yet again I am seeing the Lord drawing me in the answer my prayers through tears to him to help me to not be this woman I do not like, and to be the woman my husband, my children, my friends, and my God needs me to be! :) In this Chapter it helped me so much to hear that I AM NOT ALONE in being this way at times! That was HUGE for me. This spoke so loudly to me, I COULD have written this rather than Lysa, the author:
"There would be no Proverbs 31ish award given to me that night.
No kids to rise and call me blessed
No husband bragging about me at the city gate
No laughing for days to come.
Indeed, nothing but tears and regret. Big huge piles of regret." (chap 2)
That was so good for me to read, to see there is someone else than can understand how I feel about myself at times when I am that freak out woman! I think it helps me to see that there is hope, there is a chance to be a better me in this area because if others have been there and its not just that I am INSANE then we can work with this :)
I am holding on to this scripture she brought out in the chapter.
" Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the reneweing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is. His good, pleasing and perfect will" Romans 12:2
TRANSFORMED! That is part of this journey for me. Being Transformed into a better me! Into the beautiful butterfly! So confirmation to me that YES this journey to health, this journey to live through super morbid obesity, this journey to a better ME, all starts with the renewing of my mind! It starts inside me! Allowing the Lord to get inside and change me deep in me and trusting Him more and more!
Another couple of quotes that spoke to me this week with the Unglued study! :) So I wanted to share these too :)
"I can ask God for a better perspective to help me see good even when I don't feel good"
and this one was huge for me!
"I can face things that are out of my control and not act out of control" THANK YOU JESUS! I NEED to remember this one! :)
"We can't always fix our circumstances but we can fix our minds on God"
and lastly "one good choice.. Imperfect Progress"
So just one good choice and I am making progress! :) I am a tiny bit closer and a tiny bit better! The transformation is happening! The goal is to be the beautiful butterfly! But the JOURNEY and the transformation process is the time when I am learning and knowing God so much better and knowing ME better! :)
Soo, if this spoke to you in any way please share! :) I am going to join a blog hop with this Unglued study! if you find me through that please say hi! :) Hoping to meet other women on their own journey! :) For my friends supporting me as always, please say Hi and let me know you are there! :)
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